Let Me Axe You A Question

by Paul Benson| May 4, 2016

Happy May the 4th, everyone!

Sure, we could have done a Star Wars-themed strip, but we really wanted to keep bringing you actual continuity in the comic.  Besides, much as we love Star Wars, Disney isn't paying us.

So instead we continue our epic conflict between Judy and Alanthia and the Evil Wizard®  ™.  And you can still enjoy my bulldog doing her best Yoda impersonation.

Also, another installment in the Derrick short story!

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5.

Derrick's head had begun to throb insistently.  He'd been hanging upside-down for far longer than anyone should.  The muscles in his neck were bunched and sore, his stomach muscles as well.  Who knew that swinging away from the killer fish trying to eat your face was such a great ab workout?

This wasn't what he'd signed up for, all those years ago.  Where were the women?  The treasure?  Not in this forsaken dump that's for sure.  He and his companions had paid good coin for the information and map that had led them here.  What they had expected to find was an abandoned temple with the long-forgotten treasure of its former residents.  Sure, there's also be a death trap or three, but that's why you brought a thief when you went adventuring specifically to deal with those pesky death traps.

But it turns out that the information Derrick purchased from the one-legged merchant was incomplete.  Their informant had entirely left out the part about the icthyan murder cult that had moved into the abandoned temple.  And the cultists had placed a few new, exciting obstacles between Derrick and his payday.  Obstacles like the were-piranha.

Derrick had no idea where his companions were either, or even if they were alive or dead.  He should never have let Gorf take the lead.  If he'd been the one to discover the idol, he would have had Biddle check it for any traps.  But Gorf just saw the squat, golden idol and grabbed it right off of its pedestal.  It came as no surprise to Derrick when the pedestal began to sink into the floor, and a huge boulder released from the ceiling and rolled after the trio, who by now were running frantically to keep from being crushed.

As his armor rhythmically clanked with each stride he urgently took, Derrick's mind couldn't help but puzzle over the two tons of doom threatening to turn him into a very handsome pancake.  Seemed like an awfully elaborate death trap.  Must have been a real pain to set up.  Who got that boulder up into the ceiling in the first place?  Had he wanted to kill off any adventurers, he would have just set a trap door over a pit of spikes.  Sure, it wasn't as cool and flashy as the boulder, but wasn't the whole point to make sure you killed anyone that tried to take the idol?

The trio raced into an intersection, and Derrick went down one corridor while Gorf and Biddle dashed down another.  Too late, Derrick realized that the party had split- something you NEVER  do.  The boulder crashed into the wall, effectively blocking off Derrick from his companions.  Derrick soon found himself face to face with a bunch of angry, crazed fish cultists.

 

by Jo Roberts | May 4, 2016

May the Fourth Be With You! 

I am a big Star Wars fan and because of that and “The Princess Bride” I became a fencer.  There are now classes you can take that are specifically for lightsabre training, but when I started if you wanted to play with swords you really only had a choice between kendo and Olympic fencing.  Things like the SCA were for older people or you had to study a martial arts discipline for years before you trained in weapons.  Twenty plus years on I am still fencing and work as a coach.  I am even teaching children who were born after Episode III was released which makes me feel terribly old!

As a nerd and Star Wars fan I pretend that episodes 1-3 don’t actually exist.  I also pretend that Indy 4 and Highlander 2 were never made either.  Growing up I loved the Leia was a great role-model of a woman who kicked ass and was in charge of a rebellion.  I now love that Rey has joined the lexicon of strong and powerful women that don’t need a romance to help them develop as a character (Furiosa is of course also on that list).  I look forward to Rogue One and what else Disney will be giving us in future, but please let Episode VIII not be as derivative as Episode VII.  NO MORE DEATH STARS!

Last plug… I also make these really cool DIY pop-up perspective projects.  You cut and paste them to make a little scene.  I am excited because I just got the printed versions of my all new Star Wars one and a Dr. Who one in that I am premiering them this weekend at RuPaul’s DragCon!